Old School Comics

I miss those old school comics wherein just about anybody with a costume could become a hero. This was especially true of DC; for example, the original Red Tornado was a lady with a sauce pan on her head. Thus: Ajax is a guy who's a fan of the Iliad and happens to have some armor lying around. That's it. Instant superhero.

Marvel had some good stuff, too. They liked to take two seemingly disparate ideas and fuse them into wonderful nonsense, like a metallic alien who rides a cosmic surfboard. And so: a Voidac is an interstellar nosferatu that assumes the form of a cloud of cosmic dust until a ship blunders through it. The voidac then causes damage to the outside of the ship, prompting someone come out to fix the problem. Then it's lunch time.

Also like old comics, These drawings are plainly labeled for the reader's convenience. They just don't make 'em like that anymore, folks.

There's a Reason For This

Just don't ask what it is.

Zahd

Not Zod. But you can say "Kneel before Zahd!" if you want to.

And people wonder why I don't look rested.

I had some messed up dreams last night. Hand-to-hand combat on a bridge. Mutant Disney characters in the jungle. Watching soft-core pornography in the company of Betty White.

But all through these dreams, there was this tiger that would show up and start killing people. We would all scatter, I'd move on to the next dream, and then the damn tiger would show up again.

That is, until I arrived in a dream where it was announced on the radio that the Tiger Problem was so bad that a State of Emergency had been declared, and various resources had been called forth to deal with it. Foremost among these was a monkey.

"Is it Monkey-With-A-Big-Gun?", I asked, hardly daring to hope.

They nodded solemnly."Yes, it is."

At which point I leaned in to the mic and said very earnestly, "I just want to say that I'm a fan of Monkey-With-A-Big-Gun. I believe in him. I think he can do this."
Then my alarm went off, and I woke up.

Alright psychoanalysts. Get to work on THAT one.

Holee Crap, What's That?!

It's the end of the month! And it's COMING RIGHT FOR US!!

FLEEEEEEEEE!!!!

The pages crackled as they were turned.

When Time's thin walls are overthrown
And seeds of death and madness sown
When all's unmade and backward hurled
When glimpsed as One, the Triple World
Then Truth shakes to it's very core
And What was Sundered, whole once more

-Excerpt from The Cipher of Phulthan the Inscrutable

Is it true...

That people don't like white letters on black background? I read that recently. Who knew? All this time, I've been causing people undue eyestrain and disgust. Kinda makes me like a super villain.

Until now. I've reformed. Now, I'm perfectly sane and trustworthy.

Sane.

Trustworthy.

Scanner's Working Again

...but I haven't found the time to scan more stuff in and it's almost the end of the month and I wanna change the design of the blog anyway but I haven't found the time for that either and the cat is leaking and the house has run away.

So here's some stuff that was already on my hard drive for almost a year. I never intended to post them, and they're sketchy-smudgerific.



The dancers want more money. I guess. She's clearly pissed about SOMETHING.



You ever like something, but you don't want to like it? You like it, but kind of against your better judgment? It's sort of a thing where you don't see yourself as the kind of person who would like that kind of stuff?

Not me. I only like awesome things.



So this one time I go into this gaming store, because I want to buy some dice. And I'm kind of wandering around a bit, because I've never been in there before, so the clerk sidles up to me and starts trying to make some sales. He shows me where the dice is, and he asks DND style questions like "What kind of character do you play?" To which I reply "Tiefling Warlock," 'cause that is, indeed, what I play. So he shows me where all the minis and books are too, and buggers off. All the books and minis are, of course, hilariously expensive, so I instead go to the comics. I select a "Hellboy" trade paperback, and saunter over to the counter to pay. As I'm paying, the clerk gives me this kind of odd little look and says "Hellboy fan, huh?" and I say "Yeah, Mignola's great," or something along those lines, and make my exit. On the way back to the car, I realize: That guy thinks I have some kind of crazy devil fetish.

I don't. But this picture does nothing to help my case, however unlikely the pose may be.



Here, at the end, you've no doubt noticed that if I hadn't written all that extra nonsense, I probably could have used the time to scan something. You really should have mentioned it sooner. We could have avoided all this.

Pal...buddy...chief...

You ever write something, and think to yourself, "Ho ho, aren't I clever, funny kind of fellow," but then you read it again a little later, and you think, "Say, I'm kind of a tool"? Well, I recently looked back on some older posts, and came to just this conclusion. Most recently that one in May. "What am I writing here? I have no rules for my blog. I can barely function as an upright hominid, without making up weird arbitrary rules for myself." This is the kind of thing that happens when you write sometimes, you forget people can't hear your tone of voice.

So today I'm posting one of my favorite musical scenes from a modern cartoon, just to show ya. Also, my scanner isn't working, so I can't post drawings.



Wish the quality was better, but beggars can't be choosers.

Can't Stop

They're foolish. They're juvenile. They cause a horrible rash.





I warned you, didn't I?

Funny funny funny, What money can do.

Feelin' a bit Mignola-y, knowhaddamean? His work is deceptively simple looking...


Can't stop drawin' dat wacky goblin. Shoulda seen da one dat got away!




Annabelle de Plaingiere. She's just a femme fatale with a dark past and a shocking secret. OR IS SHE?! Regardless, should have left enough room to draw her hand. Rookie rookie rookie mistake.

And now, a Word from Our Sponsor:


You tell 'em, Captain.

Ugly Baby!

Ugly Baby, Kids! YAAAAAAY!







Recently I showed these to my wife, Cindy, and she became very quiet.

"Oh. Uh, these are...well..."

She was obviously uncomfortable, so I kind of explained to her where they came from and what the idea behind them was. When I was finished, she was visibly relieved.

"Well, that makes sense, then. I was kinda worried you'd gone, y'know, insane."

Now, I've skimmed the surface on some of the darker corners of the internet (and I mean BARELY skimmed the surface. The internet truly scares me), so I was more concerned these would come across as self indulgent and boring. It didn't honestly occur to me they might seem worrying to family and loved ones.

So, maybe I'll write a little something about them, if I can figure out how to do that without sounding like a knob. 'Til then, enjoy.

P.S. Cindy also wished me to mention that the Gerussi Kraken looked more like Gabe Kaplan to her. Such are my caricature skills, I'm afraid. Although to be fair, the 'fro and mustache look was a popular one, back in the day.

Something Had Changed Them

...they could scarcely be seen at all if the light was bad, and they went about their mysterious business in complete silence, uttering neither word nor sound to anyone. What the precise nature of that business was, none could discern.

- Dr. Archaimbaud Nero, Journals

WHAT did you just say?

It usually happens at about twenty past or twenty to the hour, or so I'm told.

But that's not what it's for.

When I started this blog, I specifically told my self that it would be only for art purposes. I'm a selfish bastard, it's my blog, so it's gonna be my stuff that goes on here. My writing, my drawings, my animation. And with a very few exceptions, I've stuck to that.

But today, I break my rule. And it sort of IS animation related, because it has to do with a friend I made back in animation school. I fell out of touch with him quite a while ago, and we haven't communicated in some time.

But Blair, if you're reading this, I have something I need to tell you:



I just hope to hell that you're attached to this somehow.

Edit: dammit, blogger is cutting off the edge. Well, click on it, and it'll go to youtube where you can see it properly.

Ahh, Love

Their parents will never understand.

Mac Ool

I wanted to have a giant,
But a giant's been done and done.
So I tried to be hip and defiant,
Dunno if I fooled any one.

Enjoying "the Hero of Ages".

Here's a koloss.

Detective Snow is :

a) Beginning to think that he is being "Set Up", and that The Chief may be "On the Take".

b) Beginning to think that there may have been "Something" to his ex-partner's "Wild Theories" after all.

c) Beginning to think that that it was a "Bad Idea" to use his belt rather than the provided holster to store his "Firearm", as it has slipped down the leg of his pants and he currently unable to recall if the "Safety" is "On".

Say, did you ever?

What a swell party this is.


I have contrasted a bulkier figure with a relatively dainty pose. Such a thing has NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE!!! I yam so smirt.






These three drawings are from a story idea I have about Insanity, the Occult and Saturday morning cartoons. Chaos Star and Character of Aratron sold separately.


I'd never drawn Solomon Grundy before. Turns out, it's basically the Hulk with a different color scheme and slightly less rage. Try to ignore the hand and foot things happening.


Pow-pow-power Girl Power Makes it Go! Never drew her before, either. Tried to make her a bit more hero-y and bit less prostitute-y than we normally seem to see her these days.


Wizards are the Pimps of the fantasy genre. I think this is why we nerds like it so much; in that world, the guys who study the most get to be the Baddest in the Realm. Of course, even in that world, the barbarians always show up and give us noogies. We can't win.


In retrospect, should have spent more time on the actual drawing, less on the robe pattern.


The caption is a bit illegible, it says "When Gropmar is happy, he shimmers." Yeah, I don't know.


Sometimes it's fun to just start drawing shapes and see what happens to them. Granted, this thing would probably collapse under it's own weight, but so might you some day. Don't judge.


If I did some research on modern clothing and hairstyles, I would be able to draw stuff that didn't look like the Jetsons. On the other hand, I also believe that modern clothing and hairstyles should by all rights look a lot MORE like the Jetsons. Who will budge first, hmmm?


BAM!


This isn't a particularly good drawing, and there are only five people other than me who would know what it's a drawing of. Enjoy!


A caricature. Don't bother trying to figure out who it is, I've already forgotten.


Blind Dead McJones. He got da blues so bad, he don't even have guitar strings.


Make a hawk a dove! Stop a war with love! Make a liar tell the trooooth! Tried Frank Miller's nose piece thing, then regretted it.

What a Swell-egant, elegant Paaarty, this IIIIIS!

Eventually I'll Scan Some More Stuff In

...but until then, I'll just post this thing. I've already posted it elsewhere on the webber-net, and normally I try to avoid double parking, but my ennui is starting to catch up with my paranoia, with the predictable result of me failing to contribute a rodent's hind-quarters.

Glorious Insights into the Human Condition

The following scraps and sketches were made on my own free time, and NOT during some of the many hours I've spent sitting on the phone at my new job, on hold. It's very difficult to draw with a handset jammed up into your neck anyway, and I would recommend against it if I had ever done such a thing, which I have NOT. They are in no particular order.


I've read that in ancient times, warriors would often battle in the altogether. I imagine such a practice would make shield placement fairly vital.


My wee daughter. This is the face she makes when she's trying to wheedle some potato chips or extra minutes past bedtime.


I've recently started playing D and D, and found that I enjoy it quite a bit. I'm aware that only people who play D and D are interested in hearing about D and D, but I thought it was worth pointing out that an "Owl bear" is a pretty darn funny idea for a monster. I've been trying to figure out what noise it would make, and the best I've come up with is saying "whoo" in a growly Doctor Claw style voice. Try it, it's fun.


Another D and D inspired drawing. To avoid lengthy explanation, I'll merely say that in-party drama can sometimes end up with nosebleeds.


They do this. They make you sit and sit, and without warning, they hang up. Then Hulk smash.


I wanted to come up with a love interest/foil for Bee-bar. This is a very ruff Blue Betty. When I come up with a name that's less derivative, you'll be the first to know.


He's got a 1D8 mace! HAR! Did I mention I've been playing D and D?


More fat means more jolly. I hope everyone had a great holiday.