I have the same birthday as Robert E. Howard.

But he still forgets to send me a card.


I saw the best minds of my generation slain by kobolds...

Ketchup on Lunch Tray, Numbers 3 and 7

Montague Graham, he sure loves his ham
But he finds it gets stuck in his teeth
It makes him glum, 'cause his gums become numb
From all the Ham that's crammed there underneath.




Also Starring: Galumph





And from the "This sounded better in my head before I wrote it down" department:

So there's these two guys, right? And they each have a map of France. And the first guy, he looks and he says "This doesn't make any sense. I've never seen any place with red roads. And look, the water in the rivers and stuff is way too blue. Also, a real place would have mountains and buildings. It's been translated, copied and distorted, and it's pretty obviously all nonsense. The only conclusion I can draw is that this drawing is completely useless, and that there's no such place as France."

Now the second guy, he looks at his map and he says, "Wow, France. I'm gonna go there some day. When I do, I'm gonna visit the giant 'E'."

Same mistake, right? But also opposite mistakes, somehow. These two guys are gonna argue themselves silly about it, too, I bet.