Zahd

Not Zod. But you can say "Kneel before Zahd!" if you want to.

And people wonder why I don't look rested.

I had some messed up dreams last night. Hand-to-hand combat on a bridge. Mutant Disney characters in the jungle. Watching soft-core pornography in the company of Betty White.

But all through these dreams, there was this tiger that would show up and start killing people. We would all scatter, I'd move on to the next dream, and then the damn tiger would show up again.

That is, until I arrived in a dream where it was announced on the radio that the Tiger Problem was so bad that a State of Emergency had been declared, and various resources had been called forth to deal with it. Foremost among these was a monkey.

"Is it Monkey-With-A-Big-Gun?", I asked, hardly daring to hope.

They nodded solemnly."Yes, it is."

At which point I leaned in to the mic and said very earnestly, "I just want to say that I'm a fan of Monkey-With-A-Big-Gun. I believe in him. I think he can do this."
Then my alarm went off, and I woke up.

Alright psychoanalysts. Get to work on THAT one.

Holee Crap, What's That?!

It's the end of the month! And it's COMING RIGHT FOR US!!

FLEEEEEEEEE!!!!

The pages crackled as they were turned.

When Time's thin walls are overthrown
And seeds of death and madness sown
When all's unmade and backward hurled
When glimpsed as One, the Triple World
Then Truth shakes to it's very core
And What was Sundered, whole once more

-Excerpt from The Cipher of Phulthan the Inscrutable

Is it true...

That people don't like white letters on black background? I read that recently. Who knew? All this time, I've been causing people undue eyestrain and disgust. Kinda makes me like a super villain.

Until now. I've reformed. Now, I'm perfectly sane and trustworthy.

Sane.

Trustworthy.

Scanner's Working Again

...but I haven't found the time to scan more stuff in and it's almost the end of the month and I wanna change the design of the blog anyway but I haven't found the time for that either and the cat is leaking and the house has run away.

So here's some stuff that was already on my hard drive for almost a year. I never intended to post them, and they're sketchy-smudgerific.



The dancers want more money. I guess. She's clearly pissed about SOMETHING.



You ever like something, but you don't want to like it? You like it, but kind of against your better judgment? It's sort of a thing where you don't see yourself as the kind of person who would like that kind of stuff?

Not me. I only like awesome things.



So this one time I go into this gaming store, because I want to buy some dice. And I'm kind of wandering around a bit, because I've never been in there before, so the clerk sidles up to me and starts trying to make some sales. He shows me where the dice is, and he asks DND style questions like "What kind of character do you play?" To which I reply "Tiefling Warlock," 'cause that is, indeed, what I play. So he shows me where all the minis and books are too, and buggers off. All the books and minis are, of course, hilariously expensive, so I instead go to the comics. I select a "Hellboy" trade paperback, and saunter over to the counter to pay. As I'm paying, the clerk gives me this kind of odd little look and says "Hellboy fan, huh?" and I say "Yeah, Mignola's great," or something along those lines, and make my exit. On the way back to the car, I realize: That guy thinks I have some kind of crazy devil fetish.

I don't. But this picture does nothing to help my case, however unlikely the pose may be.



Here, at the end, you've no doubt noticed that if I hadn't written all that extra nonsense, I probably could have used the time to scan something. You really should have mentioned it sooner. We could have avoided all this.

Pal...buddy...chief...

You ever write something, and think to yourself, "Ho ho, aren't I clever, funny kind of fellow," but then you read it again a little later, and you think, "Say, I'm kind of a tool"? Well, I recently looked back on some older posts, and came to just this conclusion. Most recently that one in May. "What am I writing here? I have no rules for my blog. I can barely function as an upright hominid, without making up weird arbitrary rules for myself." This is the kind of thing that happens when you write sometimes, you forget people can't hear your tone of voice.

So today I'm posting one of my favorite musical scenes from a modern cartoon, just to show ya. Also, my scanner isn't working, so I can't post drawings.



Wish the quality was better, but beggars can't be choosers.

Can't Stop

They're foolish. They're juvenile. They cause a horrible rash.





I warned you, didn't I?

Funny funny funny, What money can do.

Feelin' a bit Mignola-y, knowhaddamean? His work is deceptively simple looking...


Can't stop drawin' dat wacky goblin. Shoulda seen da one dat got away!




Annabelle de Plaingiere. She's just a femme fatale with a dark past and a shocking secret. OR IS SHE?! Regardless, should have left enough room to draw her hand. Rookie rookie rookie mistake.

And now, a Word from Our Sponsor:


You tell 'em, Captain.

Ugly Baby!

Ugly Baby, Kids! YAAAAAAY!







Recently I showed these to my wife, Cindy, and she became very quiet.

"Oh. Uh, these are...well..."

She was obviously uncomfortable, so I kind of explained to her where they came from and what the idea behind them was. When I was finished, she was visibly relieved.

"Well, that makes sense, then. I was kinda worried you'd gone, y'know, insane."

Now, I've skimmed the surface on some of the darker corners of the internet (and I mean BARELY skimmed the surface. The internet truly scares me), so I was more concerned these would come across as self indulgent and boring. It didn't honestly occur to me they might seem worrying to family and loved ones.

So, maybe I'll write a little something about them, if I can figure out how to do that without sounding like a knob. 'Til then, enjoy.

P.S. Cindy also wished me to mention that the Gerussi Kraken looked more like Gabe Kaplan to her. Such are my caricature skills, I'm afraid. Although to be fair, the 'fro and mustache look was a popular one, back in the day.