Midnight Monkey

Really, it does make sense.

Bee-Bar, Page One, Turkey

In which our hero recites his verse for an unappreciative audience.

Druid vs Lizard-man

The scene illustrated below has been painstakingly reconstructed utilizing the best, most up to date scientific research available concerning Druid/Lizard-man conflicts.

Super Industrial Blues

I can't be sure, but I don't think people often go to the internet to read poetry. I know I don't, and I quite like poetry. So in that spirit, I present another poem. Regular goofy drawing services will resume momentarily.

Super Industrial Blues

The plastic, the steel and
The strofoam shell
The aluminum foil
The styling gel
The cathode ray tube
That brand new car smell

Cracking scabs cover
The skin on my mind
Didn't even notice
I was already blind
Didn't even notice
What I'd left behind

And it eat me alive
It eat me alive
Gonna eat me alive
Oh, no

The newsman, spokesman
Man-on-the-street
Voices on the tee-vee
So soft and so sweet
I'm closest to the people
I'll never meet

We can talk all day
But ain't nothin' new
I shouldn't be here
But neither should you
Ship's full of stow-aways
There ain't no crew

And it eat me alive
It eat me alive
Gonna eat me alive
Oh, no

The stupid ones actually take longer.

Haven't dropped a poem on here in a while, ya lucky buggers.

Tamquam parvuli

We walk, and prod at things
That catch our attention
Destroying, rescuing
On a whim, on a chance
On how we feel we were treated that morning
We will invent our reasons
This afternoon

Tamquam parvuli

We laugh, and find joy
In things they won't understand
Nor will we understand theirs
And what do they know
Anyway?
Dancing in a spinning circle
Feeling the cold sky on our faces
Shouting our delight heavenwards

Tamquam parvuli

We claim whatever we can pick up
Unearned, undeserved
Dropping things
Our arms are too full
This is mine, I found it, I was here First
Not Fair, not Nice, I will run home
And tell
And we fight

Tamquam parvuli


If you got through that, here's a bonus one, with a slightly different tone.

(Sung to the tune of "California Girls". The David Lee Roth version.)

Well, Halfling girls are cute,
You know they stand the perfect height,
Eladrin chicks are the best of two worlds,
And they work it when you dim the lights,

Those Dwarvish girls are burly,
And they're always in the mood,
Dragon Born girls are pretty cool, I guess,
But it's tough to tell 'em from the dudes,

Well I've seen a hundred campaigns,
Met a thousand En-Pee-Sees,
But horns and a tail and fiery eyes,
will always knock me to my knees,

I wish they all could be Tiefling Warlock
I wish they all could be Tiefling Warlock
I wish they all could be Tiefling Warlock
Giiiirrrrlllls

Well, now that I've re-established myself as both arrogant and a nerd (not that the two are mutually exclusive, no sir), I bid you good day.

I'm not the man they think I am at home.

Oh no.
No, no.
I'm a Rocket Man.

Fall's Coming

Sometimes stuff will end up looking like other stuff, even though when you started the stuff it looked like other stuff that was different from the stuff you ended up with.

It's getting dark earlier, these days.

Good Evening, Luthadel!

I just finished reading Brandon Sanderson's "Mistborn", and boy are my arms tired!

No, wait...

Sleep Well

So, few nights ago I'm trying to sleep, except it's not working out so well because my stupid subconscious is having me running around an abandoned railway station under a building full of these:



They're all raw pinks and reds and yellows, so it looks like an animal turned inside out. Which is very appealing. I figured I was better off out of there, so I got on an elevator, going up. Good idea, except I suppose one must have been in the shaft, since it started to tear out the floor to try and get at me. I was obliged to hang from the ceiling by my hook-hand (hook-hand? what?) and empty the clip from my handgun ( of COURSE I was armed. Dur.) into the things pseudo-head-thing to put it down.
Now, I'm law-abiding citizen. I pay my taxes. Do really deserve having to put up with this kind of shite while I'm trying to sleep? I ask you.




The sketch below is completely unrelated to any of that.

FOCUS, Dammit.

If you like a bunch of wandering-mind sketches all in one spot, then here you go. Something for everyone. Bring Grandma.

Stool and Snickers

Now, I'm perfectly aware this isn't the direction they're going in down at ol' Loogaroo when it comes to Logo Design. I like the logo they're doing a lot, actually, but I had doodled this little line drawing thing at lunch the other day, and I thought just for poop and laughter I'd clean it up all pretty. Maybe it could get used for Artsy-black-and-white-scrappy-independant-films. Or if Clan Gangrel ever starts up a Fitness Club.



And here's an alternate colouring, for feces and guffaws.

Cindy Watches CSI

This would also work for "Cindy Watches the Office". Michael Scott's tom-foolery or bits of brain in a tray?

Finally! Someone to poison!

Who are you, though?

Gotta Start

Somewhere.

Frankly, destruction is best left to the professionals.

Non-Nerd Caption:

I drew this character once about a year ago. Too stiff and flat. This one's better, hopefully. Ruffed it on the back of a Mill Test Report Document Summary, inked it with a black ballpoint. I'm all about Quality. I think I may try re-inking her face, I feel like I lost something from the ruff.

Nerd Caption:

Drew Jaya Ballard, Task Mage again. If I could put it on a card, I would ask for "Pyroblast", even if I've put the flavor text for "Gorilla Shaman". I'll grant you, she looks a bit more like Chandra Nalaar than Jaya, but I'm gonna give her Jaya's coloring if I ever get off my lazy butt to paint it.

Jaya Ballard is most likely copyright Wizards of the Coast, I'm thinkin'.

Beatnik Barbarian

Sure, He's just standing there now. But he'll be reciting poetry and stabbing people before you know it.

Story? What's a Story?

Never eat the Dark Lord's lunch.

Gra-fear

Ugh, so sick can barely form a coherent thought. Best time for a post, I find.
Got so used to the sweet, sweet Cintiq at the studio, wasn't sure I'd be able to go back. This is my first kick at the cat, pooped it out on my old Grapphire I bought four years ago. I've drawn this Goblin about six billion times before, he's fun to draw and I know what he looks like. Wanted something easy, and y'know, this guy typing, not exactly lucid, what with hearing angels singing and all. What's that? Towards the light?

Bzuuhhh.

Barbarous Barbarian is Barbaric

'Cause graph paper is what I got, that's why.

Two Clips

So, I saw Jon Lambe linked to a TD clip on Youtube that had some of his animation in it, and I thought, "I can get on board with stealing an idea like that." Except this one has some of my animation in it. Jon can post his own stuff. Two fun points:

1. Only the first little chunk of this is actually mine, about to the point where he says "laugh it up", give or take. It's not what I'd call my best stuff, but it's what I can show.

2. Take note that Barney seems to have no legs as he levitates out the door. I honestly thought the crowd of kids would do a better job of covering his lower half, so I didn't draw it. Fantastic stuff.




I also have here a clip of Sonny Boy Williamson II, for no other reason than that it's incredible.

How to baffle a trout.

All this time as an artist, and I've never done a Sad Clown! Face Palm.

Rectified, muchacho.

Rough Layout

Y: So why do you draw trees so damn much?
X: Vell, dey ain't a-gonna draw demselves, are dey?

Duddles. Deedles. Dawdles.

More scraps and castoffs!




Rabbit! I need to hand this to a designer to take a shot at!


Some lady!


Me! Kinda!


Some Girl!


Damned if I know! This is why meetings are bad for you!


Tiger! Pointing! Possibly to accent dialogue! Which I find sort of irritating!

Enjoy! Why am I screaming ?!! My dosage is too high! Or possibly not high enough! Ha Ha! (sob)

Etativel.

Yeah, so I drew Zatanna again. Big Deal. What about all the weird stuff YOU get up to when no one's around? Huh?

Thought so.

Goblinarium

Hoy, yeah, already posted this on the Krew blog, but honestly don't know if anyone other than me looks at the Krew blog, so here it is again. Drawing and character are mine, design is mostly Mick's, the bits that work anyway. My favorite version of this character so far, I think I'll stick with it.

Three Delivery

Goofy Three Delivery doodle. You could call it "fan art" but then you would have to say I was a fan (as opposed to some guy working on the show), and then you'd have to say this was art (as opposed to whatever this is). Mr Wu and Barney are copyright a pile of people other than me.

Archive Post

An odd re-design of Big Blue, and my daughter in a tutu.

Also, I thought I should make clear what I mean when I say a drawing is "from the Archives". It's not particularly interesting, so feel free to skip it, if you want.

Some time after I finished animation school but before I was poisoning rats, I had a job in a warehouse as the sole member of the Repairs and Returns department. I was the only person in the building who knew how to do the job, as the person who had trained me had left on mat leave and never returned. Much of the job involved paperwork and finding ancient spider carcasses in electronics devices, and I was pretty much left on my own. The upshot was, as long I acted somewhat competent and mildly annoyed, people assumed I was busy and allowed me plenty of time to draw. I drew mainly on the back of RMA request forms and on post-it notes, inked stuff with sharpies and coloured stuff with hi-liters. I glued the drawings into a scrap book after I left, and now I don't really know what to do with them, which is why they trickle onto the blog when I don't have anything else to post. They're getting on 3 or 4 (5?) years old now, so of course I see plenty of problems with them, but if they didn't go on the blog, they would just sit in a book in my basement.

And thats how I became Lord of the Diminutive Grassland People.

Morny warmy uppy gobbeldy

So like, what's HER deal? Is she surprised? Is she whistling? Is she a superhero? A dominatrix? Is there really a difference? Zuh? Whuh? Forget it.

Slimy Snail

Been playing the "Toon" RPG at lunch lately. This is my character, Hubert S. Cargo. The name was Dave Rigely's idea, he rolled up the character for me. Making him a scumbag just came out of playing him. If you're into RPG's and you've never played the game I highly recommend it, it's a hoot.