The comments and views expressed here do not reflect those of my employer, my doctor, my bookie, or anyone really, including myself.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Druid vs Lizard-man

The scene illustrated below has been painstakingly reconstructed utilizing the best, most up to date scientific research available concerning Druid/Lizard-man conflicts.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Super Industrial Blues

I can't be sure, but I don't think people often go to the internet to read poetry. I know I don't, and I quite like poetry. So in that spirit, I present another poem. Regular goofy drawing services will resume momentarily.

Super Industrial Blues

The plastic, the steel and
The strofoam shell
The aluminum foil
The styling gel
The cathode ray tube
That brand new car smell

Cracking scabs cover
The skin on my mind
Didn't even notice
I was already blind
Didn't even notice
What I'd left behind

And it eat me alive
It eat me alive
Gonna eat me alive
Oh, no

The newsman, spokesman
Voices on the tee-vee
So soft and so sweet
I'm closest to the people
I'll never meet

We can talk all day
But ain't nothin' new
I shouldn't be here
But neither should you
Ship's full of stow-aways
There ain't no crew

And it eat me alive
It eat me alive
Gonna eat me alive
Oh, no

Thursday, October 08, 2009

The stupid ones actually take longer.

Haven't dropped a poem on here in a while, ya lucky buggers.

Tamquam parvuli

We walk, and prod at things
That catch our attention
Destroying, rescuing
On a whim, on a chance
On how we feel we were treated that morning
We will invent our reasons
This afternoon

Tamquam parvuli

We laugh, and find joy
In things they won't understand
Nor will we understand theirs
And what do they know
Dancing in a spinning circle
Feeling the cold sky on our faces
Shouting our delight heavenwards

Tamquam parvuli

We claim whatever we can pick up
Unearned, undeserved
Dropping things
Our arms are too full
This is mine, I found it, I was here First
Not Fair, not Nice, I will run home
And tell
And we fight

Tamquam parvuli

If you got through that, here's a bonus one, with a slightly different tone.

(Sung to the tune of "California Girls". The David Lee Roth version.)

Well, Halfling girls are cute,
You know they stand the perfect height,
Eladrin chicks are the best of two worlds,
And they work it when you dim the lights,

Those Dwarvish girls are burly,
And they're always in the mood,
Dragon Born girls are pretty cool, I guess,
But it's tough to tell 'em from the dudes,

Well I've seen a hundred campaigns,
Met a thousand En-Pee-Sees,
But horns and a tail and fiery eyes,
will always knock me to my knees,

I wish they all could be Tiefling Warlock
I wish they all could be Tiefling Warlock
I wish they all could be Tiefling Warlock

Well, now that I've re-established myself as both arrogant and a nerd (not that the two are mutually exclusive, no sir), I bid you good day.